Forums: Witch Hazel (astringent)

England need all the help they can get to beat Slovenia today and advance to the second round of the World Cup. So Fabio Capello's side will presumably be happy to hear that the curse that is the real reason for their struggles so far has been lifted.Ed Prynn, the Archdruid of Cornwall, says he has lifted the magical burden that was placed on the team in Cape Town — by an African witch doctor.The 73-year-old mystic, from Padstow, said that the likes of Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard, who have so far performed poorly at the tournament, will...

Helen Thomas, the wicked witch of the West Wing, believes munchkins should return to their homes and leave Munchkinland. "They are occupiers," said Thomas. "Itty, teeny, weeny, little occupiers, but occupiers nonetheless." Thomas, who has served as the wicked witch of the West Wing since the Johnson administration--the Andrew Johnson administration--has had on ongoing feud with the munchkins. She cites their parliamentary democracy and the crushing of her sister with a house as reasons for her hatred of little people. Willie, leader of the Anti-Defamunchkin League, asked Thomas to apologize for her statements.

"These people are occupied. And it's their land."

'Police say Angela Sanford, 30, told detectives she killed Joel Leyva with a dagger after luring him to the open space to drink alcohol and celebrate a Wiccan holiday. The two had met at a casino last week and had talked by phone early Monday about meeting in the open space. Sanford allegedly took off her most of her clothes and then stabbed Leyva as many as 13 times. Sanford later encountered several people in the open space and told them she had been raped, which detectives now say is not true. She is being held at the Metropolitan Dentention...